b r e a t h i n g   r o o m

10 May 98

mother of no one

actually still and
quiet here alone
not so bad, afterall
to be alone like this

too many thoughts, though
as always, not "do I dare"
rather, make a mixed tape,
paint the parking lot and
lots receding diebenkorn-
like to the lake,

or write this or that,
this, that or the mother?
it's her day i guess
i couldn't resist


"Only women are ever really parents," he thought. "Men, even grown men, are sons, sons of mothers." The father, he is merely the house bully, the eldest child, the eldest male. Count the number of women in the family and that is the number of parents.

She had two questions. So your sister then, she is your other parent? she was forced to trade places with, take the place of, your dad? Da, no, he said. It was never his place. Nec' please. Me? Am I not a woman because I'm not a mother?

Who says you're not? So, you haven't borne any children but what of the men in your life, the rebellious ones and the good sons? To say nothing of the girls, the women, the ones you've trained in mothering?

yester morrow
day one
first lines

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